When I was a teenager, I thought that my mom was crazy. She was ALWAYS busy. It seemed liked she loved to vacuum, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. just because she liked to keep busy, but I now realize that she didn't LIKE to do those things- she HAD to! My mom worked a full-time job from the time I was about 3- even now she works full-time (albeit from home), even though she is amazing enough to watch my kids for me while I work. I guess I always just thought that she enjoyed keeping a house so much that she never sat down when she got home from work or when the weekend finally arrived and she had some time to herself. I suppose that I thought this partly because my mother never complained; she just did what she had to do to keep her house and her family in order.
Now that I am a mother myself, it has finally occurred to me that my mother didn't, in fact, enjoy working and cleaning at night and on weekends, but she had to because she wanted to keep everything clean and running smoothly for her family. This epiphany came to me while I was on the treadmill at the gym Friday morning at 5:45. I don't enjoy getting up at 4:30 in the morning 3 times a week to go to the gym, but I do it because the hour and a half workout in the morning saves me an hour and a half in the afternoon where I am able to be with my kids, or get home to help my husband, or to start dinner, do laundry, etc. I get up at the butt-crack of dawn and go to the gym to work out for an hour, use their yucky showers, and get dressed to go to work because I don't want to have to take away an hour to two hours from my family-time later in the day.
When I talk to teenagers about all of the reasons why they should wait to have kids, I often joke that if they ever want to nap again, or sleep past 6:30 in the morning, that they shouldn't have kids. But it's really not a joke. Perhaps one of the greatest sacrifices that a mother has to make is to give up her time. Whether it means giving up an extra hour or two of sleep so that you can work out in the morning, or cleaning the kitchen for an hour instead of sitting down and watching your favorite show after a long day at work, mothers have to sacrifice their time....all the time.
I have to admit, this has probably been the most challenging part of being a mom. I don't mind getting puked on, rarely being able to eat a hot meal, giving up my favorite spot on the couch and watching countless hours of Caillou and Jake and the Neverland Pirates, but I really miss getting to sleep in and wake up on my own terms, taking a nap if I'm tired or don't feel well, or sleep through an entire night without listening for a whimpering child who might need me. Would I give it up? No way. I love my kids and am so blessed to have them in my life, but I do need to acknowledge that I am human, and it is okay to miss some of the "me" time that I used to have. It's hard not to feel guilty as a mom, and feeling selfish and cranky about sacrificing my time makes me feel that mommy-guilt sometimes, but I suppose that's just another thing that mommies have to deal with.
What about all of you moms out there? Am I alone in feeling this? How do you deal with the guilt you feel when you want to have alone time? Is there a better balance between sacrificing my time and giving enough attention to my family? There must be an app for that, right? LOL.
Thanks for reading!
~ S
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Santa!!! I Know Him!!!
Today was my annual play hooky from work day to go to the mall, beat the crowds, get our family Christmas pictures taken and take the kids to see Santa. Surprisingly, with an almost 4 year old and a 21 month old, the day went pretty smoothly. We made it to the mall with about 10 minutes to spare before our appointment at the picture studio, and the kids were at a great age this year to really take direction well and produce some cute pictures. The studio we use is Portrait Simple and I LOVE them! They are easy to work with, and you leave with all of your pictures that same day.
So, after our family picture session we took the kids to Build-A-Bear workshop and then had a nice family lunch to kill some time before Santa arrived. We only had to stand in line for about a half an hour before Santa arrived, and then it was time to plop the kids onto the strange man's lap. (A bit of a digression here, but we teach our kids to be afraid of strangers, and then we wonder why they freak out and cry when we try to plunk them down in some strange man's lap? Hmm.....strange.) My four year old son did well- even though we couldn't get him to smile for the picture. However, my 21 month old daughter- who isn't so fond of strangers, men especially, to begin with- would not stay seated! So, the picture we have is of her airborne as she's jumping off of Santa's couch.
The "elf" taking the picture asked me if I wanted to try for another picture but I just laughed and said, "No- It's a memory" and chuckled as I paid for my $20 dollar pictures of my daughter crying and leaping away from Santa as my son sat oblivious on his lap.
So, my piece of mommy advice to take away from this? I've shook in line in year's past and watched mothers try to talk their kids into smiling, or make the "elves" take picture after picture until it's perfect, and all I want to say is: "It's a memory!" The pictures of our kids screaming, or trying to get off of Santa's lap, or jumping off of the couch are the pictures that we are going to look back on years from now and laugh about. It is hard, especially now in a culture where I feel like we all need to be perfect mommies with perfect families, to accept that our kids have breakdowns sometimes (even on camera) or that after 4+ hours at the mall we are all getting to the end of our fuze. Yet, when we can accept that picture-perfect isn't always best, it makes for a less frustrating and more fun family day out that creates memories to talk about for years to come. Try not to sweat the small stuff mommies! Live in the moment, accept that our kids aren't going to do what we want them to most of the time, and that they are going to embarrass us in public and laugh about it! After all, I'm sure we are just receiving some karmic payback for something that we did to our parents at the mall during a holiday season in years past.
I did a search online for "funny kids with Santa photos" and found some great examples of terribly funny pictures (like the one posted below). Take some time to search for these and as you chuckle through them, just think about all of the great family conversations that will happen every time these photos are brought out.
Here's to a less stressful holiday season!
Thanks for reading!
-S
So, after our family picture session we took the kids to Build-A-Bear workshop and then had a nice family lunch to kill some time before Santa arrived. We only had to stand in line for about a half an hour before Santa arrived, and then it was time to plop the kids onto the strange man's lap. (A bit of a digression here, but we teach our kids to be afraid of strangers, and then we wonder why they freak out and cry when we try to plunk them down in some strange man's lap? Hmm.....strange.) My four year old son did well- even though we couldn't get him to smile for the picture. However, my 21 month old daughter- who isn't so fond of strangers, men especially, to begin with- would not stay seated! So, the picture we have is of her airborne as she's jumping off of Santa's couch.
The "elf" taking the picture asked me if I wanted to try for another picture but I just laughed and said, "No- It's a memory" and chuckled as I paid for my $20 dollar pictures of my daughter crying and leaping away from Santa as my son sat oblivious on his lap.
So, my piece of mommy advice to take away from this? I've shook in line in year's past and watched mothers try to talk their kids into smiling, or make the "elves" take picture after picture until it's perfect, and all I want to say is: "It's a memory!" The pictures of our kids screaming, or trying to get off of Santa's lap, or jumping off of the couch are the pictures that we are going to look back on years from now and laugh about. It is hard, especially now in a culture where I feel like we all need to be perfect mommies with perfect families, to accept that our kids have breakdowns sometimes (even on camera) or that after 4+ hours at the mall we are all getting to the end of our fuze. Yet, when we can accept that picture-perfect isn't always best, it makes for a less frustrating and more fun family day out that creates memories to talk about for years to come. Try not to sweat the small stuff mommies! Live in the moment, accept that our kids aren't going to do what we want them to most of the time, and that they are going to embarrass us in public and laugh about it! After all, I'm sure we are just receiving some karmic payback for something that we did to our parents at the mall during a holiday season in years past.
I did a search online for "funny kids with Santa photos" and found some great examples of terribly funny pictures (like the one posted below). Take some time to search for these and as you chuckle through them, just think about all of the great family conversations that will happen every time these photos are brought out.
Here's to a less stressful holiday season!
Thanks for reading!
-S
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